The Embracing Only podcast

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Episode 57: Unlearning Silence, why 'Just Speak Up' isn't enough

In their latest episode, Archita and Olivia are joined by a special guest, Elaine Lin Hering. Elaine, is a decorated author, facilitator, and public speaker. In the episode they talk about leadership styles and the effect that they have on your team.

This episode is a thought-provoking exploration of leadership, communication, and inclusivity in the workplace.

Just speak up is bad advice, it ignores all of the history and silence we learned. It fails to recognize we as leaders often silence others. Culturally we elevate specific voices, have a predefined sense of what leadership or expertise looks like. As Onlys we are unlikely to see others doing the thing we wish to do. As such we tend to mirror the behaviors and communication styles of the people we perceive as successful.

Speaking up looks different for everyone and not all styles are a fit. Culturally there is always power at play. Humans will tend to default to the communication style of the person who wields the most power. We are always navigating that. The challenge for leaders is to disrupt this system and become inclusive. As individuals we should consider what our voice sounds like, what our individual success looks like, and how do we push to create a version of the world we want to live in. We should always seek to be disruptive to the systems and cultural norms that thrive on silence. 

Key Themes and takeaways:

  1. Unlearning silence has 3 components. It is about us unlearning silence and speaking up. It's about leaders learning how they silence others and thirdly how our culture and systems silence underrepresented voices.

  2. Everyone has a role to play in the culture of silence. Silence breeds silence. When you choose not to speak up you are setting an example. Any of us have the power to disrupt that.

  3. Try owning the domain you sit in to frame how you speak up. Try saying as a woman, as an engineer as a fill in blank, I see it like this.

  4. For leaders: Dont fall into the lazy leadership trap. Not everyone communicates the same. Are you giving the same weight to thoughts in email, or after the meeting, that you are giving to the extroverts that are able to speak up in the moment. 

  5. Watch out for the babble theory of leadership. Ye who speaks the most is not necessarily the best leader in the room. 

  6. Inclusive leadership includes diversity of communication styles. As leaders, we have to adjust our communication styles to meet the needs of our people, not the other way around.

  7. Asking yourself, "what do I want" is the first step in recultivating our voice. 

  8. You can always pivot. What you want can and will change so long as we continue to ask ourselves the question. 

Lastly, the process of healing from silence is a continuous life long process. You must choose to act in order to learn. Do, gather data, pivot, do again. 

Tune in and discover how you can be a better leader by rethinking your approach to communication and team dynamics. Your team will thank you for it.

Book Pre-order: Link below!

Elaine is a published author of the book, “Unlearning Silence”. You can pre-order her book in the link below. A paradigm-shifting book looking at the pervasive influence of silence and how we can begin to dismantle it in order to find our voices at home and at work.

https://www.amazon.com/Unlearning-Silence-Speak-Unleash-Talent/dp/0593653602

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