In Real Talk with Meha and Archita, we take questions from previous episodes and reflect on them from our own perspectives. In this episode, Meha reflects on her Indian-American identity and Archita shares her career journey from an engineer to a business executive in marketing. We also discuss experiences that shaped Meha’s confidence in public speaking today, and Archita shares a key defining moment in her life.

TRANSCRIPT:

[0:09]
Archita: How are you doing? You're 39 weeks in 10 months into your pregnancy

[0:14]
Meha: Archita I'm so close. I'm ready to launch this baby now. I mean, we launched this podcast a week ago and now, and then a week to go to this baby comes out.

[0:26]
Archita: Yes. For the listeners tuning in Meha has baby number two due you any day now and the day this podcast episode releases is your due date?

[0:36]
Meha: Exactly. Here's what I'm actually a little anxious about that until now. You have had your third kid a couple months ago, you have been the one on a crazy sleep schedule. I have been able to have my seven-eight hours of sleep and now we will both be basically moms on maternity leave. So good luck to us.

[0:57]
Archita: Yes, good luck to us and all those lovely episodes coming through. But you know Meha as I reflect on like these past two months, I am so thankful for that call you gave me four days before I was about to have my third kid. Do you remember that?

[1:12]
Meha: Yeah, because it had been a year since you know our fateful meeting in Dusseldorf. And we're like, it's time to put our idea into action. I think that's how we felt a couple months ago in August.

[1:23]
Archita: Three days from that call, I was supposed to have my baby. And we knew that two months from that call, you're going to have your baby. And we were talking through Well, when are we ever going to get this podcast started? And we said, Well, you know what, there is no good time than now. So let's just do it. And so just we started whiteboarding and put down a plan in place to launch the podcast and we're one week in and that's really exciting.

[1:45]
Meha: And it's funny that we mark the journey of this podcast based on how old your third baby is, right? So that's long we know we've been working on it. So with this episode, our goal is really to reflect on the most recent interviews that we've conducted, right, and Archita and I get a chance to sit down and reflect on some of our key learnings and our own experiences where we can relate to some of these women.

[2:13]
Archita: Let's get right into it Meha. So we had three wonderful women, Tina, Kristie and Courtney, the first three episodes so far. So what I loved was, how vulnerable and how courageous our guests were.

[2:26]
Archita: You are first generation Indian-American, your parents have done an unbelievable job of you having such a strong connection to your Indian identity, but embracing it wholeheartedly, which is very hard to do when you're trying to fit in and be like everybody else, but still hold on to where you came from. And that has always been something I've admired about you and your upbringing.

[2:51]
Meha: I really love that you're making me reflect on this because now as a mom, yeah, I often think about the influence that my parents had on me and my upbringing, and what can I take to that to my kids? I think I can distill it down to two things.

[3:06]
Meha: First, the fact that whatever it took my parents invested in time and opportunity to go to India, to make those trips to India, Archita to see my family, all my grandparents were there growing up, right, all of my cousins, essentially majority of my cousins, and it wasn't just actually going to India. Seriously, sometimes when you go to India, and you're not from there, and again, you're like a second generation like Indian-American, you feel overwhelmed. Because it's a different language. It's like a different way of life. It's hard to actually relate sometimes to your cousins because they are being raised in a way that's completely different from you. The food is so different. Every time we've been there, Archita, I feel my parents made it an adventure, a fun adventure. Like one example, on my grandparents on my dad's side, they live in more rural India, like my grandfather still has his house there and to get there, it's a 12-hour train from Delhi. Okay, taking a train Indian trains are very efficient and very fast but still coming as an American is a huge adjustment. But taking those 12 hour trains, every time the train would stop at the station where there's a bookstall, my parents would be like, oh, let's go get some comic books. Right?

[4:20]
Meha: I grew up - my brother and I grew up reading Archie Comics and Tintin comics and Asterix and Obelix comics, because we got them from the train station on the way to see our grandparents. So everything became an adventure like that. Right? And then another example. Yes, we know that, you know, Soda... Pop is not good for you necessarily, right? We've known that for many years. Still, every time we went to India, Thums Up, Limca. We had unlimited, we could get as much pop as we wanted. Okay. So, also those are the fond memories that I have and, but also whenever we went there, it's not like we just stayed in one place for days and days. My parents organized family reunions. So with our cousins we would go spend a week in Cochin, right or go spend a week in Bombay, go spend a week in the Himalayas. So overall treating trips to India as an adventure is what I, you know, directly contribute to feeling that we can fit in India.

[5:19]
Archita: It’s really amazing because I think of my kids now they're what we call third culture kids, because neither of them are born in the place where either of their parents are from. So my husband's American born and raised in Michigan. I'm Indian, born and raised in India, and my kids are born and raised in Germany, how do we find ways to create those special adventures for our kids so that they want to go and be a part of that culture and have that culture be a part of them, no matter where they are?

[5:48]
Meha: Yeah, so the second factor was actually a mix of freedom versus discipline. Okay. And what I mean by that is integrating into American culture, you know, like you just mentioned, raising your kids in a country in a culture that you weren't necessarily raised in right is very different than your approach to it. You have to be thoughtful about it.

[6:11]
Meha: My parents similarly, raising my brother and I in American culture, feel like they gave us enough freedom so we felt like we could fit in yet discipline so that we knew our limits. I'll give you an example in high school or in middle school, right? You have middle school dances, I knew of people might not be allowed to go to school dances just because you shouldn't be dancing too closely with boys in seventh grade. But with ability to go to those dances yet yeah, we still had a curfew. You know, that was my parents approach.

[6:44]
Meha: So that's why the push and pull a little bit because they gave us the freedom, yet had discipline and actually think that also went into how we did at school, we had the freedom to do whatever we wanted as long as we were still focused and performing in school. So it really boils down to that discipline, having the freedom to do what we want, while also being disciplined. You know, as long as we're also performing well in school.

[7:09]
Meha: So Archita, what about you in terms of when it comes to school? You know, I know you studied engineering, you know, which is relatively traditional path from your upbringing. And but now you're in marketing. So tell us about that journey.

[7:20]
Archita: So in eighth grade, I was like, I want to be a doctor. My dad was looked me in the eye, and he said, Are you ready to study for 20 years of your life? And I said, pardon my French Hell no. So he said, then my dear daughter, I would recommend you do not pursue that path. So I was like good point, father. You know what, I love math. I love physics. I was dabbling a lot in computer science at that time, C, C++, taking participating in all these competitions. Felt really great about myself. So I'll be a computer engineer, because come on. How hard can it be? Long story short, I decided to be a computer engineer. A year into that program. I realized I like to see the sun. And I cannot be staring at my computer for 17 hours a day coding.

[8:06]
Archita: So I decided I'm going to make a big switch and I decided to be an electrical engineer instead. Really big, but it got me out more. And I'm so thankful it did. Because I really got to develop in so many other aspects of my life and really experience the American culture. I got to be homecoming queen for Michigan Tech, I was a radio DJ, one point had four or five different jobs, which was amazing. So it really helped round me out and helped me see more than just that engineering world that I was exposed to.

[8:41]
Archita: So I started my career as an engineer, but very quickly during my internships with the company I'm working with, I did two engineering internships. And what was really interesting was I was the first woman engineer that team had ever hired. So being a woman in STEM, that early stage of my career was actually very empowering. So I would say that that empowered me even more in my internship to go and explore what other opportunities were there for engineers outside of just a traditional engineering role. At the end of my internship, I was pretty confident that I didn't want a traditional engineering role. I wanted something that gave me an opportunity to get closer to the customer. And so I shadowed a quality engineer and a manufacturing engineer and decided to be a quality engineer.

[9:30]
Archita: Two to three years down in my engineering stint as a full time employed engineer. I moved from Kalamazoo, Michigan, to Quebec, Canada, and I was giving a presentation to a group of customers and our Vice President of Marketing at the time. And at the end of the presentation, he tapped me on the shoulder and he said, If you ever need a job in marketing, give me a call. So I kept that in the back of my mind. At the end of my time in Canada, I was exploring opportunities of what I wanted do when I moved back with my company to the US. There were opportunities to move further up the ladder in quality engineering. But I knew that while I was close to the customer, I was not close enough, I knew that I needed to get much closer to the customer. So I literally picked up the phone one Friday afternoon. Mr. VP of Marketing, you told me that if I ever need a job in marketing to give you a call, this is me giving you that call. And if the universe you know, it just makes things happen for you if you really want something, and he was like, Archita, so glad you called me. I have an opportunity on my team that just opened up. This opportunity opened up, call this other guy on the team, understand the details of the role and you have the job. I mean, I think that was the easiest interview ever. I don't think that's going to be possible now. But the reason why I really I really give thanks to him is because he took a chance on me. Of course, I had to have shown performance over time, or else I would not have gotten that opportunity.

[11:05]
Archita: So it's critical to perform and show that you're credible enough for that opportunity, but he took a chance on me to help me transition and make that leap from engineering to marketing. This individual has been a huge mentor in my life, and has really helped shape a lot of my journey in marketing as well. And I can say with all my heart, that marketing is my place and my passion because I honestly believe marketing has given me that opportunity to use that entire set of tools, which is really energizing for me, as I step into work every day.

[11:46]
Archita: Meha your recent MBA commencement speech was really empowering to all the graduates. What got you into public speaking and how have you really honed that skill over time?

[11:57]
Meha: I was actually an introvert as a kid. I remember, I was actually one of the shy ones. And then in fifth grade, I vividly remember, there's an opportunity to do a spelling bee. And now it's going to sound like a cliched Indian kid participating in a spelling bee. But yes, that's what it was in the late 90s. And then I had to be on stage. You get asked how to spell a word and you literally don't know what word it's going to be. It could be from a list you practice, it might not be if you're an advanced rounds, you have to answer it. And I still remember the moment and I think it's because my mom has told me the story a few times, that she was sitting there in the audience and the way that I commanded myself on stage with some sort of presence, like I was standing there. I didn't seem nervous. I remember I didn't feel nervous either. And I just went through the word and after that experience, I had put myself out there put myself on stage.

[12:52]
Archita: What was that word Meha?

[12:53]
Meha: Sarsaparilla. But what's funny is that I got it wrong, because I forgot there's a second "A".

[12:58]
Archita: You got it wrong. But it still created an opportunity for you to feel confident, get that out there and then kind of helped be that moment that you kind of go back to every time you're up there in front of people.

[13:11]
Meha: Yeah, the second moment actually would be in 10th grade. I took a speech class. And I remember taking that speech class thinking that wow, this is way out of my comfort zone. I don't know why I'm doing this as this class is actually with juniors and seniors and here I was a sophomore. And I think not knowing what anyone in the class and everyone being older than me, helped me also. And I remember specifically a speech that I gave, that I practiced hard for, and that's again, the second defining moment, we had to give a speech about some famous person. For some reason at the time,

[13:41]
Meha: I decided to choose John F. Kennedy Jr. And I remember how I started out that speech in front of the classroom how I practiced it before and what by the time I got there, I said the introductory lines, and from there I knew that I got it. Right the lines at that time: "People say I can be a great man. I'd rather be a good one." John F. Kennedy Jr. So I think when I'm going back and reflecting, since that moment, that speech that I gave in 10th grade speech class, whenever I give the opening lines of a speech, and from that moment, I feel like okay, I have something I want to share with the world. So that's what I'm going to do. And that's why I'm up here right now.

[13:55]
Meha: I know our Archita in our own journeys, we have had experiences. So tell me about a defining moment in your life.

[14:32]
Archita: I would say probably finding out at 32 and a half weeks we were going to have our baby boy premature. Those seven weeks while he was in the NICU were pretty tough. I think I saw my husband age 10 years in those seven weeks. It was it was really hard. I can still like visualize kind of seeing that impact on Dave. When I saw him like get into that place. I think it gave me more resolve and just more courage to be like, we're going to see this through, we're going to find a way to see this through. And the there was this bell, we had to press.

[15:10]
Archita: So every time we go into the NICU in Germany here in Dusseldorf we had to the press the bell to get into that special area in the neonatal area, and that every, every morning, we'd go there as soon as we could, you know, the first thing and my son was our first-born, we had no other kids at home. So after the two weeks of staying in the hospital, we could not stay there any longer. So we had to leave him there at night, come in the morning, and we had this whole ritual. So every morning at like six o'clock, or whenever they let us in after the shift change happened we'd press that bell and that bell had a distinct tone.

[15:44]
Archita: Anytime I hear it today, even now, four and a half years in, it gives me the shivers and it just takes me back to the time of when I would press that bell because every morning we would not know what we're going to see or witness on the other end of that door, because they could not tell you if anything goes wrong on the phone. They can just tell you you got to come in, but they will not tell you why you need to come in. So it was always really nerve-racking.

[16:13]
Archita: That was pretty defining for us. Because up until that point in time, everything that defined me and who I was, and what I wanted in life was my job, my profession. That was it. But those seven weeks helped me realize that moving forward, this family is a unit and this is what yeah, this is what is going to define who we are and the decisions we're going to make. I turned down an opportunity to go to the US because we chose to stay back in Germany.

[16:46]
Meha: So Archita I know now you have two additional beautiful babies, right, your daughters, but I wanted to ask you, but how do you think that defining moment that you just so powerfully described how has that shaped your approach to motherhood, now as a mom of three.

[17:03]
Archita: Yes, I would say that those seven weeks, come back and give me a chance to like replay, pause and remind myself that I would not have these cherished moments, if not for that specific moment in time, where I got a chance to be a mum for the first time. So irrespective of the tantrums, or whatever it is, I need to see past it. And be just be thankful and grateful that I have these three lovely lives in my life right now.

[17:34]
Meha: That's inspiring. So and this was also great that I feel like we got to really reflect. I'm really excited also for what's to come the rest of the season.

[17:43]
Archita: This was a really fun chat. I hope baby hasn't popped yet. But listeners will keep you posted on baby, Chiraya number two. Do tune in and listen in as we interview the next three women who will really inspire and empower you on The Nine Oh Six.

[17:57]
Meha: To learn more about our podcast, check us out at www.thenineohsixcom. The Nine Oh Six is produced by Meha Chiraya and Archita Fritz. Subscribe to us on your favorite podcast platform to tune in and hear the stories that will elevate and inspire you.