This special episode of The Nine Oh Six is a journey of self-reflection and celebration, where Archita gives thanks to three women who have impacted her life. Courage, resilience and sacrifice are the common thread in their stories.

Vijaya Sivakumar, Archita’s mother (Amma), shares her experiences raising two daughters while managing a male-dominated career in urban India. Shobha Subhash, Archita’s aunt (Aunty), shares what it was like to rejoin the workforce after a decade at home. Pamela Fritz, Archita’s mother-in-law (Mutter), shares her experience of starting her own business as a young mom of two, which is still thriving nearly three decades later.

These three women are inspirational proof that success comes in many different forms, and we must celebrate this.

TRANSCRIPT - Episode 6: A Special Episode -Giving Thanks

Archita 0:01

Hello and welcome to The Nine Oh Six, a podcast produced by Meha Chiraya and Archita Fritz. On this special episode, I'm your host, Archita Fritz and I give thanks to three very special women in my life who have impacted and enriched my life in many different ways. You will hear from my mum Vijaya Sivakumar, or Amma to me. My aunt Shobha Subhash or Shobha Auntie, and my mother-in-law, Pamela Fritz or mutter to me. Stay with us, as we talk through courage, resilience and sacrifice.

Vijaya 0:54

Talking about putting kids before career. I would rather say it was not a sacrifice, but a choice that I made.

Archita 1:02

That was my mom, Vijaya Sivakumar. She is a retired financial professional, who served her company a large fertilizer manufacturer of India at the top of the corporate ladder for 40 years. until her time of retirement in 2017. My mom was the only woman amongst 70. That's seven zero men in the finance and accounting team at our company in the south of India. But my sister and I were little kids, I vividly remember every quarter and year end and month account closes. My dad traveled five days a week so my mom would bring my sister in me to her office and while we were running up and down the floors pretending to do homework. She was the ultimate hero or power moving for us. out of her office with the dot matrix printer going. She owned delegated and managed the clothes like a boss. So as I was recording this episode with my Mum, I realized upon reflection that at this day, it has never really bothered me, or doesn't quite bother me when I enter a room and I am the only woman, whether it was my first computer engineering class and university, or even a leadership team meeting today, because watching my mum, all those years, it was just normal to step up and lean in, irrespective of who was at the table.

Vijaya 2:35

Yes, if anybody looks at the scenario that I was in, they would have surely felt that it would have been way too alien task to be in the midst of 70 men alone woman, I never felt so because for me it was not getting only the work done. I always realized that they too had dreams for their children, but many of them did not know where to look upon or what opportunities they can grab for their children, or how they can raise them. So that is when I pitched in my little knowledge, and I shared it with them and what best they can do for their children and who are ultimately going to be their future. So that really gave them that type of confidence. Come here is a lady who is not here to only mean her business, but she's also here to support us, to guide us, and to see that our family grows and that children have a brighter future. So they really were very helpful, supportive, and encouraging and inspiring. And instead, I would say that they were more inspiring to me and they were very helpful in whatever way they could. So I never felt that this thing, so my piece of advice to you would be that it is a give and take matter. You cannot be only expecting or extracting job from your colleagues, but you also need to change for both of you to grow,

Archita 4:03

Share in order to grow. Such a refreshing take on looking and embracing differences in the workplace and in our lives. I'm going to step back into the workforce in a week and these past three months while on maternity leave, as I went up and down the hill of joy, frustration, anxiety, happiness, accomplishment and fear, I started wondering, was it a myth that one can have a family, two successful careers, and be there for their family and friends? My mom and dad had made it look so easy growing up. But I know now as a parent, you make sacrifices. That was curious to uncover what sacrifices my mom had to make when she had to put her kids before her career.

Vijaya 4:58

Talking about putting kids before career, I would rather say it was not a sacrifice but a choice that I made. So what sort of a choice and by that choice, there was my own example or my own growing up years, my father always had to move. The job moved him once in every four years, and we had to move from places to places. In my organization too, when it came to promotions, it meant every promotion meant moving to another state. And that is when I made the decision or we took a decision that your dad keeps moving, and I stay back, because I had gone through all the trauma of being moved once in four years. I didn't want my young daughters to go through that. And so for me, foregoing a promotion was not a sacrifice, but a choice. And I think it was a sensible choice. And well I'm happy, no regrets as such.

Archita 6:04

My mom found satisfaction and fulfillment in a career beyond just a change in a title or a business card. She wasn't chasing that next promotion. Instead, she was building her life focused on fulfilling her commitments to the choices she had made.

Vijaya 6:26

For me, job satisfaction didn't mean only a promotion would give me the job satisfaction. Growing up in a career didn't really mean promotion. But I kept building myself through self reading self or attending training courses provided by various institutes and attending to various women related conferences. And that was really interesting and enriching. And that gave me more satisfisfaction, equal satisfaction. So that was really enriching for me, rather than a promotion.

Archita 7:10

Her perspective on choice versus sacrifice. It has given me a lot of pause for thought, and has changed my view completely. Just while we were having this interview. When she used the word choice, she took the power into her hands for a given circumstance, versus letting the circumstance having sway over how she had to handle it. And there were times where she made different choices and had to pick her career before her kids.

Vijaya 7:45

There was a time when the vigilance department of our company said personnel from finance department have to move up to be moved out every four years. And I had already put in eight years in that particular place, and there was no other choice, but I had to move. But on my quest, they said at least for six months, you have to move out. So the only question that came up the most in my mind was what about the kids. So I was not the one to give up so easily on life. So I made this decision, or look for support, looked out for all our support. And I was lucky enough to have my parents around, and my other cousins who came in and pitched in a bit to support me and which gave me that type of confidence to leave my children. It was for six months that I was away from them.

Archita 8:48

My mom never shied away from asking for help, and always did and has done the same for others. The myth that one can have career, kids, raise them to be good human beings, all while maintaining a healthy family and social life. She just busted that for me. It is possible. If you commit to the choices you make you lean into every opportunity given and you don't hesitate to ask for help. So what does my mom Amma love the most about herself?

Vijaya 9:27

My multitasking capacity. I could manage a job. I could pay attention to by age to parents and bring up my two lovely daughters.

Archita 9:49

Next up, we have my aunt. My aunt, Shobha Subhash, has been a part of the village my mom alluded to earlier. Both my mum's sisters, and her cousins and her parents stepped in numerous times to help my mum and dad as they fulfilled their commitments to their choices. Shoba Aunty who I interview here today holds a very special place in my heart for many reasons. She and my uncle, her husband Subash were my first constant connection and place of security in the US when I moved from Bangalore, India as a 17 year old. I grew up as a young adult at 506 Spring House Lane, eating her delicious home cooked meals, and her letting me sleep in, not making my bed, and planning adventures exploring the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. But nostalgia side as I spend a considerable amount of my time in my career and saw her find her way and boys and self after raising her two kids and stepping into the workforce for the first time, after already having earned her master's degree in environmental engineering some 11 years ago.

Shobha 11:09

One of the things that encouraged me or gave me the confidence going back to school was back in Michigan when I pursued my Master's in environmental engineering and changed my field, I actually did very well in the program. So I knew that I had it in me to pick a different field and I knew I would do well.

Archita 11:27

Having to go back to university didn't deter her. Instead, she drew strength from what she knew she was great at, which was academics. And she used that confidence to see herself through grad school for the second time around.

Shobha 11:46

And then I started off taking two classes. I didn't go full time because I was applying to and had to get accepted into the program and I actually aced the classes, the two classes that I did really well. Then I also had the opportunity to talk to one of the faculty and she was actually kind enough to, she spent like two hours talking to me about the program. I just wanted to get a feel for how receptive they were to somebody of my background because I was looking into environmental health as being my focus in the public health department. Well, yes, I did go full time, but the kids were there, but I had like a very, very supportive family, my husband and kids. I had become nocturnal. So yeah, I finished it in two years. With this, I felt like I could make a difference in the practical world.

Archita 12:37

She really embraced this new journey. But if we were to take a few steps back, she did pass an eight hour exam on her path back to grad school. The exam is called the fundamentals of engineering, which you usually take after you've just graduated from college with an undergraduate degree. It's an eight hour exam where they test you on every aspect of engineering. And her absolute focus and confidence truly inspired me as she tackled returning after more than a decade back into the workforce.

I forgot about the FE exam. So now just going back to that, when I first moved to Florida, before I even considered public health, I was thinking of going back into environmental engineering, and I thought the FEwould be a good way to brush my knowledge. It is an eight hour long exam, and it covers literally all fields of engineering. It just seemed very daunting at that point. And then I did take the FE I could not take it in the state of Florida, but I was able to take it in Michigan. So first of all, it's really expensive to take the FE if I remember it was about $300. And then I was flying to Detroit, you know, there was all this pressure but my husband had said no, whatever happens it's just do it. It's okay if you pass or if you don't, at least you would have you would be richer in your knowledge. And so it was nice to have that and helpful did go to Detroit take the exam. It was eight hour long exam. And then when the results came out, I was in India and my husband said, I had told me I had passed. And I was like, can you just double check to make sure it was my name on the results. Yeah, so that kind of was another thing that gave me the confidence to go back to school. And then once I completed the FE, I was not sure if I still wanted to go work in a company and I was, you know, why not? Since I passed the FE, after having had this long gap, I was like, why not consider going to grad school. And so that gave me the confidence and I always had the confidence that I can. I'm never scared to try anything new. I had the confidence in me as far as the academics.

So fast forward to graduation with a Master's in Public Health. She still had to find her footing in the corporate world.

While I was still in the program almost finishing up, there was an email that went around where they were looking for interns at the VA. The Department of Veterans Affairs, their Office of Public Health, which, in Washington DC, they had a center here in Gainesville, and they were looking for interns. So I applied to that intern position. Unfortunately, I did not get the intern position. But a few months later, there was another email that went out from our coordinator for the department who organizes interns or helps people with a job she sent out an email, which was a posting for a job with a VA. It was this with the same group, but this time it was a full time position. So I applied to it and actually, this group, they were looking for somebody that exactly met my background and did not expect someone who is an engineer and has a training in public health, they never thought they would find somebody. So they just sent me an email that we would like to talk to you. They didn't tell me it was a formal interview. So I didn't know what to expect. So just in case let me prepare for this. So I prepared and I go there the next day, and it turned out to be a formal of interview. Yeah, so it just worked out kind of fell in my lap, I would say.

You know, the universe has a funny way of bringing opportunities to us and my aunt's stayed along the path of belief in herself, even though she was passed on for the original opportunity. She enjoyed six fulfilling years with the VA, when very interesting turn of events, put her back into the unemployed workforce.

So I worked there for six years. It was amazing. I really, really enjoyed the work. And unfortunately, our center had closed after nine years of funding. So I had to look for other opportunities. Thankfully, we are in a university town. And I was working in health care policy, infection control as well as health care policy. So there was I landed a job with a group at the university in the health outcomes and policy department. To a certain extent, I would say I had to start ground up. Because this next job that I took was the one that closely fit my background and training. It was very, very different from what I had done in the VA.

And there she was again, finding another opportunity that stretched her further. I was curious to understand how she stayed motivated and focused through all these stops and starts and what her advice would be to somebody entering the workforce or re-entering it.

Shobha 17:49

So I'm always excited to learn new things. I look for new opportunities where I can grow my knowledge base. My advice to anybody starting to get back into the workforce would be pick a field that you're passionate about. It doesn't matter if it is something you've never tried before. The key thing is, you are maybe at a different level of maturity now, so you might as well do something that you really are excited about and passionate about. No matter what the hurdles are, you will be able to handle it and excel in whatever you decide.

Archita 18:38

Last but not least, my mother in law, Pamela Fritz, who I call Mutter.

Our paths crossed one summer 15 years ago, when I found myself bruised, confused, and scared after a near fatal car accident I was involved in. I didn't know at that time that this blonde angel would someday be such a big part of my life and my family. All I knew was that she made me laugh and find my fun through that really scary time. Through the years her story of resilience were an idea she had 28 years ago to serve our community while finding a sustainable way to give old toys a new life led her to becoming the founder, the owner of a Grand Haven, Michigan staple, Toys Are Used. Her story is one where she looked to solve a problem for herself that she knew needed some of her magic in her community.

Pamela 19:48

I was a young mother. My daughter was a year and a half old when I started. My motivation? I started this Toys Are Used business shortly after she was born. And then I was motivated because my son of five, he was five years old at the time, I had all this clothing that I did not want my daughter to be wearing. So I took it all down to a consignment store. And along with that, I brought two unopened toys, thinking that they could sell those as well. And when I brought them, they accepted my clothing, but they did not accept the toys. So I got back into my car, and I'm thinking, this town needs something like that. And my brain went into overdrive, to try to get me to open up a store like that. And I had to figure it all from scratch. When I had that aha moment, the idea, I presented it to my husband. And then I asked my mom and dad for support and my brothers and my son. Most of all, I asked my children and they were behind me 100%. Yes, my son was around six years old, and my daughter a year and a half, but my son was the one who was excited about it. And my daughter now she just was a year and a half. But they got on board, they were there ready. She came to work with me. I created a spot for her. After I got the support from my family, then everything fell into place. I had family of brothers and sisters who had toys that they didn't want anymore, so they donated that to me. And then I had my friends. My friends, they helped me supply shelving, all that. There's a lot of shelving I needed. And that my friend, one of my friends, that's what he did for a living was make shelving so that's where I got all my shelving. And so I started this business was $200 and $50 of it went for cash register, and the rest was for advertisement. And that was it that. I had a building that was empty for seven years. So I asked if I could use that rent free, and then everything just fell right into place. So I just knew this, I just knew that I this is what I was supposed to do with my life.

Archita 22:28

Her life, she found her life's purpose and that is what has been truly inspirational to me. She lives her life's purpose every day. And the magic and love she brings to her blue and yellow brick and mortar toy store is truly special.

Pamela 22:46

I think it's service. I think it's my personality. I think people they like coming in. They like the fact that they can play with these toys and then get them at a very low price. Sometimes I can't beat a garage sale. Sometimes I can't beat the internet on eBay, but I'm a hands on eBay. That's what I am and people come from, just last week I had people come from Fort Wayne, Indiana, because we're passing through, and they stopped in. I was just blown away. But I think you know, most of all, what I think is my passion for this business, because I just I think people like that. Some people come in just to come in to just get cheered up. You know, it's the toys, the toys and because they can get something, the toys that they're looking for that they can't get anymore. Teachers say oh call that place, I know she'll have it. When you walk in my doors, it hits you with the reminiscent of all the old toys. It's nostalgia, it's just a unique store from ceiling to floor toys.

Archita 23:56

You can truly hear the joy in her voice. She was well ahead of her time 28 years ago, finding a second life for used toys. And she had to find her footing and get the word out. She did something we sometimes hesitate to do a lot of which is simply ask and ask she did and look at where and how she's gone.

Pamela 24:23

Back 28 years ago, I was off the beaten path. People didn't know I was there. So I had to do a lot of door to door, handing out flyers, and advertising was very expensive. So I put flyers on all the stores downtown. A lot of it was word of mouth, and then I hit the newspapers and asked them if they would do an article on me. I couldn't ask for anything better for advertisement is getting an article done. And then I've been in a couple of magazines and just by contacting them and saying, Hey, this is what I have, providing a great service for this community. My store grew as my children grew. And then came the internet, I've grown, opening up to the internet. That was a challenge for my personal if any challenge that was my one and only challenge it was getting, I held off, I said no. And then a woman came into my life. Her name is Anita. And she's the one who she made me come around to it because otherwise I probably would not be on the internet. If it wasn't for that woman.

Archita 25:41

She's faced challenges, the biggest one being finding a way to speak and engage her customers in the digital stratosphere away from her store. But she embraced change, and her advice to young men and women looking to turn their idea into a reality serving their community centered on passion.

Pamela 26:02

My advice for other women out there looking to become an entrepreneur, I truly believe you have to have a passion in what you are about to pursue no matter what business that you're looking to open. You gotta have a passion for it. And that's what I have. And I think that's what people keep coming back because they just know I have this passion from all the toys that come in. Well, in the 28 years that I have been in business, I've had a lot of ups and downs. But it's my passion that's gotten me through all the downs. I'm still having fun doing what I'm doing. I still love going to work. I love seeing a child light up when when they find that special toy. Knowing that my store is providing a really cool service for this community.

Archita 26:56

Her definition of success is outward focused and truly motivational.

Pamela 27:03

I define success, knowing that I'm providing for this community a service, and they keep coming back. And I get to witness my success every day in the children that come in. So when a child comes in, they found that one toy that they've been looking for that to me, I'm there, that's success.

Archita 27:33

She is one of the most happiest people I know. And when I or my kids are looking to find our fun, she's just a call, a video chat, a text, or a visit away.

Pamela 27:46

I love that I'm a happy person. I love that I'm a giving person. I love my family. I would do anything with my family, and I want to spread that love and happiness to everyone.

Archita 28:10

This episode was a personal journey of self reflection and celebration, giving thanks to three very special women in my life. Thank you for listening.

Meha 28:20

To learn more about our podcast. Check us out at thenineohsix.com. The Nine Oh Six is produced by Meha Chiraya and Archita Fritz. Subscribe to us on your favorite podcast platform to tune in and hear the stories that will elevate and inspire you.