In this episode of Real Talk with Meha and Archita, we reflect on the past three episodes of Season 1. We also weave in some of our own experiences, including what it has been like to be road warriors as new moms - while also trying to keep breastfeeding our babies. We reflect on our upbringing, and the role that our parents have had in making us feel unstoppable. We also talk about goal setting and the importance of being bold, in both our professional and our personal endeavors.

TRANSCRIPT:

0:06
Meha: In this episode, Archita and I reflect on the past three episodes of The Nine Oh Six Season One, where we spoke to Ashlesha, Elsbeth, and Andrea. And we also weave in some of our own experiences, including what it's been like to be traveling career women who also want to keep breastfeeding our babies to reflecting on our upbringing, and the role that our parents have had in making us feel unstoppable. We also talked about goal setting and the importance of being bold in both our professional and our personal endeavors.

0:41
Meha: Welcome to The Nine Oh Six. I'm Meha Chiraya.

0:45
Archita: I'm Archita Fritz.

0:48
Meha: We are your co-hosts for The Nine Oh Six - a podcast where we elevate the stories of extraordinary women in our communities.

0:58
Archita: Meha so 2020, a new decade and our first Real Talk episode for this decade and this year.

1:05
Meha: Happy New Year Archita.

1:07
Archita: Yes, Happy New Year

1:08
Meha: 2020, here we come.

1:11
Archita: Yes, I'm so excited because in a few weeks, I get to see you. And we get to be onstage together talking about what we love to do, which is share the stories of all these amazing women we've had an opportunity to interview on the first season essentially of The Nine Oh Six.

1:31
Meha: Yeah, and I'm excited to share that with our audience at the Podcast Movement Conference here in LA in just a few weeks. And also going back and thinking about Season One, Archita, I mean, we still have a few more episodes to go. But I know the last three episodes. We had some pretty powerful interviewees with really unique stories.

1:52
Archita: Yes, we had Ashlesha, a Major Doctor from India. We had Elsbeth. A coach - an executive coach, a corporate - a woman who climbed and been at the top of the corporate ladder. And of course, Andrea most recently, who is an ER physician, up in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. Some fascinating stories. And their journeys were just very different.

2:13
Meha: And I like though their journeys are very different. But I also feel that they all have elements that we all can connect to in some way, that we can all relate to, whether it's having different identities in the work life or in home life, whether it's figuring out how to raise young kids while also trying to be successful in your career, or even figuring out how to accept your support system and not feel guilty about leveraging that support system around you.

2:38
Archita: I think the support system is one of the common threads across these past three episodes, whether it be Ashlesha's, you know, the support system she found in her husband and her extended family, with Elsbeth with her mentors, and with Andrea with her husband as well. I think that was so critical. One of the key takeaways I've had, as I think about these three episodes is, you know, how do we go about building that support system? How do we lean into that support system? And how do we have that give and take with that support system that we build over time to help us achieve and realize the dreams we have for ourselves?

3:18
Meha: That give and take piece that I know Andrea called it out, and that in our support system we give to them but we also have to be okay with taking, that really hit home for me too, Archita. Because I think about my own relationship with one of my key people, my support system, my husband, and one of the defining moments in my career was actually right after we got married. We just moved as newlyweds to California because Hardeep had a new job here. For me though, I had a great career opportunity to go to Colombia for a few months. So here we were newlyweds. We lived together for about a month and then I was off to South America for three months, right.

3:53
Archita: So you were just newlyweds you were in Colombia, what was that like?

3:57
Meha: So from a day-to-day basis, it was very, let me put it this way, fulfilling in the sense that I was using my Spanish skills, living and working in a Spanish-speaking country to really understand the healthcare system for a particular project that I was working on, focusing on gestational diabetes. From a personal life perspective, though, again, being newlyweds, my husband was all the way in California, he was almost starting out a new life here together because we just moved to California from New York City.

4:27
Archita: Meha I can't even imagine what that must have been like being newlyweds, navigating your new life in two separate countries. While you both were pursuing your own dreams and really being there for each other. That takes a lot of courage.

4:40
Archita: This is another thing that really hit home for me in Andrea's episode and that was, you know, career women, being new moms in the workforce. So first-time moms or new moms in the workforce, and how we just have to juggle different aspects of things. And one of the very basic things being whether or not to breastfeed. And Meha we have shared a lot of stories in the middle of the night as we're pumping in, in some godforsaken parts of, you know, toilets and the back of buses and closets and cubicles around the world basically. But what that felt like and it was just, it really became so real for me when Andrea shared, you know, being an ER physician and having to sometimes decide between, okay, do I need to be there to... you're in the ER, you're trying to save lives, you're taking care of really sick people. But also here she is trying to make sure that she can, you know, fulfill what she wants to do as a mother, which is one of the things was breastfeeding her kid. And just taking that time and what that meant, that really hit home for me because, you know, we've kind of traveled and we've breastfed now for me, to me, my third one, and everybody chooses to do different things, but we chose to breastfeed our babies. It's hard. I remember we both have a common story of pumping in Tel Aviv, the same university, I think it was probably the same room. Because we both went there for classes for our MBAs.

6:14
Meha: Yeah. So one note that you mentioned, you know, again, thinking about Andrea's experience, and she realized she had to take that time out for herself. She had to ask for that time to, you know, go out and pump even when she's working in the ER. And when she asked for it, people of course, were willing to support her. And so I think it's not even just in the context of breastfeeding right but it's in the context of us wanting to be able to be there for our children in any way that we need to outside of the work life right? We can we need to not feel shy.

6:49
Meha: We need to not feel afraid to really ask for that time because no one else is going to be there to tell us to do it, to tell us to go for it. You know, it has to come from ourselves.

6:59
Meha: On the pumping in crazy places piece, yeah Archita. Okay, so when I came back to work after my first baby after my maternity leave, and I feel very fortunate actually in our workplace, we have maybe. There are two rooms to pump on every floor.

7:17
Archita: Wow.

7:18
Meha: Two rooms and they're actually very comfortable rooms right it's almost like a relaxing break because you can pump and and then I think about other experiences. When when we're say traveling. The LAX airport. Yes, there's one room that in the Delta terminal where you can pump but I have to say. I was standing in line there I remember last year waiting to pump and in front of me was a TSA worker and she was also waiting for someone else and I realized that she literally has very...this is her workplace. My line of work.. It's like made me not take for granted what I have because so many women in this country and around the world just to be able to breastfeed, it's not that easy to be able to keep pumping when you go back to work. So you really have to appreciate when you have, when given opportunities, so you can kind of leverage them.

8:08
Archita: Yeah, I mean, you have to really appreciate. Yeah, that that's phenomenal because even the concept of pumping here in Europe is sometimes pumping is just not very common yet here in Europe. People do pump but because of the way the healthcare system is a lot of women get to stay you know, have a have a choice to stay home for the first full year. So I still am struggling my third child in, to find the best way to store milk, freeze it and it creates so much anxiety.

8:39
Archita: I remember my first pregnancy, I had pumped a lot of milk like I thought it was enough for like, you know, three to six months essentially I mean, I had to pump a lot of milk and I was traveling a lot after I'd started working. And there was this one week when I we thought we had enough milk for at least two weeks based on how our son was drinking at that time. But Dave calls me up and he's like, you know what, there is no milk left and this is my first kid right? So, and there's nothing wrong with formula at all. But I was just I had this in my mind like I wanted to only have him have my milk and I had so much anxiety because I was like, How the heck am I going to get my milk to him and I had like, you know, a ridiculous amount of milk with me that I had pumped and frozen in in the hotel there. I literally called up every courier I remember that night to find a way and the only way was paying 600 euros to this taxi driver to drive from within Germany, four and a half hours to get milk to my home and I was like, You know what? I'm being ridiculous. I need to let go and Yes, he's gonna get formula tonight and it's not the end of the world.

9:48
Meha: So okay. I really appreciate - the place where I work. They have partnered with this company called Milk Stork, and my first business trip I remember it was a sales meeting in Austin, Texas last year - first business trip away from my baby. I use Milk Stork and I was able to put the milk in this frozen in this container full of ice and then just ship it back to my baby. So

10:11
Archita: We spoke about this and you know, what frustrates me is I really wish we had it here. That's what we need, because I think then moms would make the choice to go back to work sooner. Yeah. It's and this is the thing I mean, even now with my third pregnancy, we're thinking that I my kid starts going to daycare here soon, and pumping milk, etc. But just the whole concept of like, you know, thawing frozen milk and feeding the baby someplaces they are happy to do it. Some places just look down on you. It's like why are you not home and feeding your baby milk? You know?

10:43
Meha: Yes, what needs to happen is that as women we need to have options. Like we if we can have the option to stay at home with our baby for X amount of time longer than ideally six weeks, right - in the US, or longer than that. Or if we want to go back to work. If you have the facilities available everywhere publicly to be able to keep pumping if you choose to breastfeed your baby, you know, like you the choice is what we need.

11:09
Archita: Yes. And the thing is, is that if as a society, we embrace the fact that, hey, the mom is taking time off, and again, it's what you said the choice, no matter the choice, we make the infrastructure around there supports those choices. That would just be -

11:24
Meha: Ideal.

11:25
Archita: Fabulous. really ideal. Yeah.

11:28
Meha: And actually, one more note on that. Okay, so going back to that example, so we both studied abroad in Tel Aviv. By the way, you totally inspired me to go to Tel Aviv, when you told me about your experience there for your MBA. So in Tel Aviv, I remember sitting in my class and it was class with local Israeli students, right as well as some international and I remember there was and that time, my baby was six months old.

11:51
Meha: I remember there was a fellow student, Israeli student, a mom. She brought her three month old baby to class and she would feed him in class. And the fact that it was so normal and so natural. And if even if the baby made a sound like it was no one really paid attention because it was accepted that you can bring your baby to class and breastfeed in class, when you're doing your MBA, and I went up to my classmate, I told her that I was so impressed and that I felt like she was a trailblazer. And she almost laughed because she literally didn't think it was a big deal. That is the type of society we need. I wish society I wish more societies were like that. So accepting because again, that's part of what we need as an extended support system.

12:37
Archita: Yeah. Then again, then you have you have the courage to make the choice to go on, and live that choice. Talking about choices Meha, and talking about choices and the society we are in. Let's talk about Ashlesha's episode about being a woman and being a girl growing up in India.

12:57
Meha: Archita I know you spent what first 17, 18 years of your life in India. And and I know actually you mentioned to me before, that it's you and your sister that were growing up. And you also felt like your parents really made you both strong. So what was what was your growing up experience?

13:15
Archita: I just, you know, I still remember the words Ashlesha said right. She said my parents were radical thinkers. It just, it still shakes me to my core when I think about it, because the fact that they were radical enough that she thought they were radical because they let her make her own choices. Isn't that crazy? Like we and it still exists? I mean, this, I'm not going to, you know, shy away from the fact that there are lots of societies out there where women don't have we know this for a fact that don't have the ability to make their own choices at all.

13:52
Archita: And even in in India and my own like community that I grew up in. There were women who didn't have the ability to make their own choices. That husbands were picked for them, their school was decided for them, or the lack of going to school was decided for them. I mean, basically that path was decided like the day they were born, right. And I just never felt that. I felt that my as my parents never let me feel that way. Because if I were to use Ashlesha's words, they are radical thinkers in the sense that they just believe that girl or boy, you need to have the same ability to make the choices you need to make

14:29
Meha: In your life. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. So just, it's interesting. And is there any specific experience? Do you remember or do that in childhood?

14:38
Archita: I mean, no, the one of the choices I think about is Yeah, where I went to school, right. When I went to university, I had a choice to go to university in India. But like in eighth grade, you know, we, you kind of have to make these decisions in India for many different reasons. And my parents were sort of just like, you know, what is it that you'd want to do and I was just very honest with them. I'm like, K. Good, bad or indifferent. I just don't think I'm going to be able to cut it in like engineering school here in India, I'd really like to give SATs a shot and go to the US.

15:12
Archita: And they were behind me like 800% you know, whether it be classes to study for the SATs help with like, you know, developing and sharpening my my resume per se whatever that was, they were behind me like no 800% to help me go down that path. You know, I had the opportunity then to, again, leave home at 17 with no mom or dad with me to another country and you know, start school there, because they really empowered me with that choice, right from eighth grade, which was pretty amazing.

15:48
Meha: And that parental support system. I think now as wives right we have husbands we always refer to as our support system, we also have kids, but that parental support system has played such a key influential role for me to in my growing up years. So one example for me, Archita. I spent the summer after sophomore year of college, I was 20 years old in Honduras and Costa Rica. And it was for this volunteer engineer project. And I remember when I told my parents that I wanted to apply for this opportunity as a student, volunteer engineer, back in the time before easy access to communication, right internet cafes is where you went to, to email your parents, it was really hard to make a phone call, but they fully supported me. Right and there, I remember when I was there for two months, summer after sophomore year, there'd be weeks that went by without me picking up the phone to call them yet I never felt that I couldn't do something that I put my mind to because they were fully behind my crazy ideas of what I wanted to do. You know. As parents also, I feel that I want to make sure I tell my kids that the the sky is literally the limit in what they want to do and not plant seeds of doubt.

17:03
Archita: Meha, you couldn't, you couldn't have said anything better. I mean, we as parents, we just have to be so careful about not planting seeds of doubt, because then that limits kids from making bold choices. Talking about being bold, you know, Elsbeth. Elsbeth our other guest on this in the last three episodes, her whole focus was on being bold and taking risks.

17:28
Meha: Yes.

17:29
Archita: And it's just fascinating, whether it be you know, her expat life over in Asia, or even her journey to motherhood took a lot of courage. It was just really fascinating to hear how she has navigated all of the you know, how she's navigated being bold through all of the risks she's taken in her career, and also in raising her family as well.

17:58
Meha: And I also liked hearing Elsbeth talk about not only her experiences, but I feel like she gave very specific examples of what we could do to put some of those bold ideas into reality. Like she mentioned, like figure out life's quadrants.

18:13
Archita: Yes. I love that. I love that because, you know, she, she spoke about goal setting and this is such a great time to talk about it right, the beginning of the year. We're all thinking about what do we want to accomplish? But one of the things my husband and I do, what Dave and I do every year is we do a family goal planning session. Of course our kids don't contribute much right now because their biggest goal as I asked Aarik the other day was to play with his trains. Which is fine, you know, that's good. He has a goal that's good. But we do this goal planning exercise but what Elsbeth gave me was an opportunity to be even more deliberate in how I plan it because today Yes, we focused on Okay, personal, professional, etc. But she spoke about, you know, this defining what your four quadrants are and knowing that as a family, how do you move forward in each of those quadrants? It does not mean necessarily that it's just me moving forward professionally but together, Dave and I are moving forward professionally in like, say, the work quadrant for instance. So we're really taking the time this year as we define our goals to be more deliberate.

19:24
Archita: And the other thing she said, which has really stuck with me, which is dream on paper, like you have no time and money constraints. Because the minute you put a timeline and you focus so much on the how of all how can we do this, how is this going to happen? Which I'm, to be honest with you Meha I do a lot of I have done a lot of this goal planning sessions in the past with David because he has this like, crazy idea and I'm just like, whoa, whoa, back off. Like how are you going to do this? Because I'm like this activator. I'm like, Okay, I want to do it but how are we going do it? But sometimes it's more about just being so clear about what it is that you want to accomplish. And then taking the steps towards the what versus spending hours on, you know, deconstructing why and how that may or may not happen.

20:16
Meha: Yeah, so focus on the what, and then the How will come?

20:20
Archita: Exactly, exactly. It's not like you just let it you know, you let it out there but you you're subconsciously thinking about it. So you act on it in different ways. You talk about it with people like, like the podcast, for instance, right? We wanted to do it, but I think when we first started talking about it, we really got into a lot of the nitty gritty. And then you made that phone call, and we were just like, Okay, what is it that we want to accomplish? Let's go do it. And yes, we acted to get to the nitty gritty at points, but we constantly had to keep reminding ourselves on, you know, what is it that we're here? What is it that we're trying to do via this podcast, which is deliver great content of stories of women that really inspire us to inspire others around us.

21:09
Meha: Exactly. So I have to tell you another one of my goals, Archita. Putting it out there, so it is going to happen. So I decided that I want to be super fit, right? So post my two kids now, and I decided on the what - and I'm going to do that. I signed up in October for a Spartan Race. So a Spartan Race, some of you may have heard, basically an obstacle course where I said, I did make my husband sign up with me and a couple other friends. So that's happening in October. So now I have to figure out okay, how am I gonna get there, but I do feel glad that I put that pen to paper, I bought the ticket to run the Spartan Race and then I will keep you posted on my progress.

21:50
Archita: That's awesome. That is one of the hardest races ever and I love that you lean on your support system to keep you accountable, because that's another key part of goal planning, you know, you can write goals and that's great. But. One of the apps I use, which I love for anybody out there, it's called Brian Tracy's goal wizard. For every single goal, it asks you, you know, why are you doing this role? Or this? Why are you going while putting pen to paper for this goal? What has kept you from achieving this goal in the past? And what are you going to do to celebrate when you have achieved this goal? And who is going to hold you accountable to this goal? And I think that's so critical.

22:32
Archita: The last two pieces is having, the more you put your goal out to the world, the more real it becomes because you have more people rooting for you to achieve that goal. And then once you've achieved it to actually reflect and celebrate that goal, yeah, sometimes we're like check and we move on to celebrate. Yes, because it took a lot of blood, sweat and tears. I mean, think about your MBA or you know, my executive MBA. I mean, this was years in the making. Two years just went by, right. And I literally was like Dave, like I had written down in my goal Planning Guide. How are we going to celebrate is a weekend away. And well, it took me longer than I had hoped to make that happen for many different reasons. Four months after graduation, six months after graduation, we had the opportunity to be in Michigan, and we leaned on our support system there like Dave's family, to help us realize this where we went, it took time off, and we did four days, you know, and it was just great because we could celebrate it. And it was so important because I could relive what it felt like you know, and how we were able to achieve that through two kids through two pregnancies to then know that any other goal now is going to be that much more achievable.

23:48
Meha: Love it. That's awesome.

23:50
Archita: So we get some, you know, we had three really inspiring women that can really motivate us as we're putting our goals together. So to all of our listeners out there on The Nine Oh Six, what is one goal you're going to go after in 2020. And how are you going to crush that goal?

24:10
Meha: Thank you everyone for joining us on this episode of Real talk with Meha and Archita. We look forward to having you tune in on the rest of season one of The Nine Oh Six.

24:23
Meha: To learn more about our podcast, check us out at thenineohsix. com. The Nine Oh Six is produced by Meha and Archita Fritz. Subscribe to us on your favorite podcast platform to tune in and hear the stories that will elevate and inspire you.