Leveraging Your Uniqueness For Success
Lisa Hurley, an entrepreneur, writer, and Anthem award-winning activist shares, among many other gems of wisdom, how you can leverage your uniqueness as an “only” for success in professional settings. Discover how you can flip the narrative of being an “only” and use it to your advantage
Listen to the episode or scroll down to read the blog post ↓
Lisa’s work centers on Black women and encompasses self-care, community care, and Black joy. She is the Founder & CEO of The Great Exhale, an award-winning private membership community that is a soft, safe space for Black women. She is also the Founder of For The Culture And The Coins, a movement dedicated to inspiring Black people to build whole-life wealth. She is known for her warmth, wisdom, and wit.
In this blog post, we’re covering the following:
Click here to listen on Apple Podcasts. While you're there, subscribe and leave us a rating and review if you enjoy the episodes.
1) Valuing Work and Compensation
Lisa made the term, “Free is Cancelled” popular. She credits one of our other amazing guests Mita Mallick for this term. Sometimes, it can be difficult to balance the need for compensation with opportunities for a broader impact or reaching underserved communities.
Lisa explains that there are different kinds of scenarios. For something like a podcast, she sees it as an equal exchange. Everybody benefits.
Where she objects to working for free, however, is for multimillion or even multibillion-dollar companies that have the budget to compensate you.
“Just pay people. It is the absolute minimum that they could do. And when it comes to people of color, when it comes to black people, they should be ensuring that they pay equitably.” - Lisa Hurley
How Lisa decides what she will and will not do for free depends on the relationship she has with the person and the approach they have when they ask her to do the work.
“There are times when people will approach you with the utmost audacity and disrespect. And bearing in mind, they're asking you to work for free, right? And then they approach you as if they are doing you a favor. I think not.” - Lisa Hurley
Sometimes Lisa will make an exception for companies or movements that are purpose and mission-driven. But even then, she has this one important this to say about it.
“Everybody deserves some kind of equal exchange for their time, their energy, their expertise. It does not always have to be money. But it should be something.” - Lisa Hurley
2) Gender Bias in the Workplace
Lisa explains that women especially fall into the trap of doing these amorphous, uncompensated tasks.
“Are you getting a promotion out of this? Are you getting some kind of visibility out of this? What are you getting? If you're not getting anything? Let somebody else do it and be okay with that.” - Lisa Hurley
We’ve spoken about it before on the podcast, but embracing your nos is important so you can honor your yeses. Even if it means people may be unhappy or not respond well.
“Be disliked but compensated.” - Lisa Hurley
Women place a premium on likability and it's contributing to the gender pay gap. We burn ourselves out to be liked.
“Women are generally socialized to be nice, to be acceptable, to be palatable, to be liked. [...] You are trained basically from birth, that in order for you to be seen as a valuable human being, you must be nice and be approved of.” - Lisa Hurley
3) Surviving and Navigating Corporate America
Navigating corporate America is incredibly taxing.
“There does come a point where you have to advocate for yourself, you have to realize that the job is going to be fine. The company is going to be fine. You have to focus on you. [...] Let the companies fend for themselves.” - Lisa Hurley
Lisa explains that you have to refuse to participate in contributing to your own demise.
Corporations will take care of themselves.
“Corporations are so savvy in terms of human psychology and the way the brain works, that they know exactly what little things to give you that little dopamine hit that keeps you working until you drop. And then it's still wondering how you can work some more even when you're laying in a ditch or half functioning.” - Olivia Cream
The system doesn’t exist without our cooperation.
“We don't control the system. But we are a critical component of it.” - Olivia Cream
Lisa explains that most of what we do is not life or death. It is not that urgent. You should show up and do what you're being paid to do, but you don't need to burn yourself out in order to do it.
“They've done such a job where we think that we are so vital to everything. The only thing we are vital to are our own lives and the people that are closest to us that actually care. The companies do not care.” - Lisa Hurley
4) Empowerment as an “Only”
Lisa explains that there are two sides to being an “only”.
“There's this side where it can absolutely feel lonely, you can feel disconnected, you can sometimes feel invisible. Then there's the other side where it can absolutely be empowering and be a competitive advantage.” - Lisa Hurley
Lisa has been an “only” in many different ways - the only woman, the only black person, the only person of a certain age group.
“Leverage your uniqueness into an advantage.” - Lisa Hurley
Lisa explains that when she was in her twenties, she was the only woman in management and the youngest on her team. She did a lot of training and made herself as visible as possible. That led to her becoming one of the youngest marketing officers in the Caribbean, for an all-inclusive.
“It can be a bit of a burden, but there's always a way that you can flip that narrative to change it to your advantage.” - Lisa Hurley
Olivia explains that the spotlight can get hot sometimes. It can make you work up a sweat.
“But what it gives you is visibility and accessibility. Two things that you need for success. [...] You need visibility and you need accessibility. Being an “only” almost guarantees you those two things should you choose to look at it as a competitive advantage instead of shying away from it.” - Olivia Cream
5) Delay vs. Denial
As you’re reading this post, ask yourself, is this what I want?
“Whatever you want, wants you to. Whatever you want and whatever is for you in this life will never pass you by.” - Olivia Cream
Some of these bad experiences that we have are for our own good to redirect us. But the important part is to not sit and wallow, rather redirect your energy.
“Every delay is not denial, right? No can sometimes just mean not now.” - Lisa Hurley
Out of this waiting, Lisa has managed to create something beautiful - The Great Exhale.
As Lisa looked to other people, influencers, and activists, especially black women, so many of them spoke about feeling unsafe, exhausted, burnt out, and overwhelmed even in corporate spaces that are supposed to be safe.
“I think that sometimes the individual experience is actually universal without us realizing it.” - Lisa Hurley
What Lisa realized that she and her sisters needed was a space to be open and vulnerable. A place where they were not required to be a “strong black woman”.
“What has been particularly fulfilling for me is the number of women that are a part of The Great Exhale that have said I'm actually on a sabbatical from work. I've taken time from work. I'm choosing to make The Great Exhale a part of my healing journey.” - Lisa Hurley
6) Authenticity and Positivity in Social Media
Lisa explains that she is a Reiki Master and she believes in positive energy.
“I believe that if all of us can vibrate higher, then the world can be a better place.” - Lisa Hurley
Lisa aims to spread this positivity through her social media posts.
“Some people don't like it. Because it's not serious enough when you're an activist.” - Lisa Hurley
Lisa explains that everything she does has an intention and while these positive and fun posts might seem frivolous, they are actually done with intent.
“Some people are going to see this and feel better. It's going to elevate their energy. They're going to feel happier. [...] It just means there's more positive energy, just for that moment, for those couple of minutes. And then the goal is for that to cascade out, like ripples in a pool of water. That is the goal. It's always to elevate the energy.” - Lisa Hurley
Nothing helps with self-care more than managing what energy has access to you.
“I tend to not consume a lot of the negativity that's happening in social media because it pulls your vibration down. And when you start to feel sad and ugly [...] it infects everyone around you.” - Olivia Cream
Some people are afraid to show up as their authentic selves on social media because they're afraid of what negativity they will receive back from the world.
“You're going to get the negativity. I'm sorry, it just is what it is. But you're also going to get the positivity. And when you put your authentic self out there, your village can find you. Your village can't find you if you hide.” - Olivia Cream
It can also feel discouraging to post on social media and only a few people end up seeing it or you only get one like.
“That's the like that you were meant to get because that's the person that was meant to read it [...] The message is going to get to where it needs to get to.” - Lisa Hurley
To hear the full conversation, scroll all the way up and tune into episode 65.
About The Hosts: Archita And Olivia
ARCHITA
Archita Sivakumar Fritz is the Host and Producer of the Embracing Only Podcast. Archita is a MedTech and Life Science Strategist. She is a LinkedIn Top Voice for her insights into product strategy and nonprofit management, and the creation of inclusive cultures that champion a 'speak up' philosophy.
Following a successful 19+ year corporate career she now helps C Suite across organizations as a Fractional Product Marketing Leader through her company Ready Set Bold.
She works with individuals with 10+ years of corporate experience to find new paths away from toxic or underappreciative environments, enabling both personal fulfillment and broader organizational impact.
→ Grab your FREE resource to build your career transition here: https://embracingonly.com/cubicle-escape-blueprint
→ If you want to work with Archita you can reach out to her here: www.readysetb.
→ Book her as a speaker, moderator, or coach for your next company event or workshop.
OLIVIA
Olivia Grant Cream is the host and producer of the Embracing Only podcast. Nothing makes her happier than providing a platform to women who are changing the world.
Olivia is a proud US Veteran and HR Leader who is passionate about changing the face of corporate America by helping underrepresented people reclaim their power and live the life of their dreams.
She is an advocate for transitioning military members seeking second careers in the corporate landscape.
Olivia is a proud Jamaican and enjoys mentoring, coaching, classic cars, and nature. The way you tell your story online can make all the difference.
→ You can work with Olivia here: www.oliviacre
→ Book her as a keynote speaker or moderator for your next ERG or company event.