Speaking Up in the Workplace
Animah Kosai, a passionate advocate for ethical leadership, diversity, and inclusion in the workplace, shares her unique insights and experiences in speaking up in the workplace.
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With over two decades of experience in the oil and gas industry as an in-house counsel, Animah brings a wealth of practical knowledge to her current role as the founder of Speak Up at Work. Originally from Malaysia, Animah’s global perspective informs her approach to addressing workplace issues across diverse cultural contexts.
As a speaker, writer, and consultant, Animah focuses on creating psychologically, safe workplaces where employees feel empowered to voice their concerns. Her expertise spans areas such as speaking up, ethical leadership, and fostering inclusive environments that value diverse perspectives.
In this blog post, we’re covering the following:
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1) Why People Don’t Speak Up at Work
Something that has perplexed Animah in the past is why people do not say something when they witness things like misconduct, corruption, or harassment in the workplace.
“If you were a witness, you found out something, why didn't you report it?” - Animah Kosai
Animah found two reasons for this:
1. FEAR
“They don't know who to trust, they're afraid they're going to get into trouble, they might lose their job, there'll be some kind of backlash.” - Animah Kosai
2. FUTILITY
“I've reported it before and nothing's happened, so why should I?” - Animah Kosai
These two things combined impact people speaking up on harm that they see.
Animah explains that she is less concerned about the people who did the harm, rather she is more interested in the systems and the culture that allowed that harm to happen.
Why are people feeling afraid?
“I'd be focused on helping organizations address the psychological safety and then also ask, what is driving certain behaviors?” - Animah Kosai
The more Animah started speaking about these issues, she realized that there is a need for a space for people just to open up and be heard because in most workplaces, this doesn’t happen.
2) The impact of Speaking Out
One of the first things Animah asks people who want to speak up is if they are secure financially.
“Retaliation is very real” - Animah Kosai
If you don’t have allies at work and the leadership doesn’t care, there is a very real possibility that you could lose your job.
Then, there is also the emotional impact of speaking out.
“What I realized is you can all support each other.” - Animah Kosai
This is why Animah created the Speaking Up Network
“The network is really broad. It's every continent and people talk to each other and whether they're talking about disability justice or racial issues, they can communicate with each other and feel supported at that level.” - Animah Kosai
The main thing Animah says to people is that they are not alone.
“You might think you're the only one who's experiencing that, and that's not surprising, because nobody talks about it, but you would be amazed the moment you open up in a safe space and share your stories, that other people who go and say that happened to me too. I'm here. What do you need?” - Animah Kosai
3) Leadership Awareness in the Workplace
In Animah’s work, she has found that a lot of leaders don’t even realize that harmful behaviors are happening under them.
“That's why #metoo was really powerful when it first broke out because men had no idea. And I will confess that I myself, not being black, had no idea what black people had gone through until Black Lives Matter exploded right after George Floyd's murder.” - Animah Kosai
Animah explains that what was happening was there was a space for people to tell their stories and to be seen and heard.
“The first thing when it comes to leadership, is they really need to know and they need to feel.” - Animah Kosai
However, the main thing is that they need to care about it, Animah explains.
“Many people in leadership positions do care, it's just that they don't often have the space to step back with everything that's going on. [...] It's not just one leader, it's the entire leadership team of an organization that may not have the time and space to really step back and ask themselves the difficult questions.” - Animah Kosai
4) Self-awareness in the Workplace
Animah shared that she was bullied as a young lawyer.
“In the legal profession, this is so common and so in my mind, this is how you train young lawyers.” - Animah Kosai
As she became more senior, she explained that she took on that mantle of bullying,
“In my head, if you can't handle me, how are you going to stand before a really strong judge who's yelling at you? You have to withstand all this. It's a tough profession. Deal with it.” - Animah Kosai
It was only when she moved jobs and her boss called her out on her behavior that she realized that that was not the right way to lead. She explains that she went on a journey of learning how to do leadership properly but also one of self-awareness.
Animah tells this story to remind us that there is redemption.
“You don't have to write off people straight away. I'd be willing to work with people who are open to learning and acknowledging what they did wrong.” - Animah Kosai
Animah explains that people need to be non-defensive.
“Intention is irrelevant because it's really about the impact on the person who's been hurt. So you have to own it.” - Animah Kosai
5) Disrupting the System
According to Animah, it takes more than one individual to disrupt the system.
“Some women will disrupt, yet they're still left to dry. They're hanging there by themselves.” - Animah Kosai
Animah explains that women feel they have to behave differently because they're working in a system that has been designed by men, for men.
“I can take it even further. The whole world has been designed by cis, straight white men from certain educational backgrounds for the same kind of men. Everyone else has to adapt to it, which means we lose elements of ourselves.” - Animah Kosai
To fit into these systems, we downplay aspects of our identity.
“We downplay our own brilliance. Our own authenticity is not coming out. We're not shining and we're miserable. Let's face it, a lot of people are miserable at work because they feel they're not allowed to be themselves.” - Animah Kosai
Animah explains that corporate culture and professionalism are constraining. For example, having to wear your hair a certain way or speak with a certain accent.
“These are some really constraining things, and I think this is where we need to challenge it every time we come across it. And for me, it's a daily affair but it's exhausting.” - Animah Kosai
When Animah lived in Malaysia, a lot of the conversation was around gender. However, when she moved to London, race was a lot more prevalent.
“I'm biracial. A lot of people just assume I'm white. They don't want that Asian side. [...] They just want that white part of me because that fits in. The rest of it doesn't. And it's erasure. It is a form of erasure.” - Animah Kosai
6) Creating Spaces for People to Share Their Stories
Animah spoke about the only Palestinian American Congresswoman, Rashida Tlaib, holding up a sign that said ‘war criminal’ during Netanyahu’s speech.
“She spoke that day on Instagram as well, and she said, I needed to be there because I want to show the world what Palestinians feel.” - Animah Kosai
Animah explains that she cannot even begin to understand how it feels for a Palestinian woman in her workplace to have someone give a talk supporting Israel and it be applauded by her colleagues.
“Imagine the deep pain that is. That pain that this Palestinian American woman, Rashida Tlaib, felt is the same pain that Palestinians in various workplaces in the West are feeling. There's no space for them. HR is not listening to them. DEI is not listening or not giving them the space to open up and say, I'm really hurting.” - Animah Kosai
Animah explains that workplaces lack spaces for people to share their stories.
“The focus tends to be on white people and their feelings, but there has been very little focus from a DEI or HR perspective on how specifically Palestinians and Muslims may be feeling.” - Animah Kosai
As leaders, we have the opportunity to create spaces to listen. In this process of listening, you are going to feel so uncomfortable. You don't need to resolve that discomfort every single time you feel it. Rather recognize that the only way to work past the discomfort is to listen more and to encourage more dialog.
“Listening is key.” - Animah Kosai
Animah explains that this will not happen overnight. It takes time to gain people’s trust.
She shares two key pieces she tells leaders:
1. It will be messy.
“It's going to get really uncomfortable. You might even hate yourself at times because you're going to start hearing things that people didn't tell you before and you're going to discover things about yourself.” - Animah Kosai
However, this discomfort is part of the process.
2. You will make mistakes.
“Don't beat yourself up, because it’s not about you. [...] Do that work on your own time, but not in front of the person that you're centering. So make mistakes, learn from them, and then you grow. It's like building a muscle.” - Animah Kosai
Animah also explains that if someone calls you out on your behavior don’t immediately shut down.
“Take it as a gift because that person was brave enough to give you valuable feedback which will make you a better person.” - Animah Kosai
To hear the full conversation, scroll all the way up and tune into episode 71.
About The Hosts: Archita And Olivia
ARCHITA
Archita Sivakumar Fritz is the Host and Producer of the Embracing Only Podcast. Archita is a MedTech and Life Science Strategist. She is a LinkedIn Top Voice for her insights into product strategy and nonprofit management, and the creation of inclusive cultures that champion a 'speak up' philosophy.
Following a successful 19+ year corporate career she now helps C Suite across organizations as a Fractional Product Marketing Leader through her company Ready Set Bold.
She works with individuals with 10+ years of corporate experience to find new paths away from toxic or underappreciative environments, enabling both personal fulfillment and broader organizational impact.
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OLIVIA
Olivia Grant Cream is the host and producer of the Embracing Only podcast. Nothing makes her happier than providing a platform to women who are changing the world.
Olivia is a proud US Veteran and HR Leader who is passionate about changing the face of corporate America by helping underrepresented people reclaim their power and live the life of their dreams.
She is an advocate for transitioning military members seeking second careers in the corporate landscape.
Olivia is a proud Jamaican and enjoys mentoring, coaching, classic cars, and nature. The way you tell your story online can make all the difference.
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