Reclaim Your Power: Menopause and Shining a Light on Your Strengths
Sinead Sharkey-Steenson, a renowned leadership and menopause coach dedicated to preventing the menopause talent drain, shares her unique insights and experiences in reclaiming our power, shining a light on our strengths, and changing the narrative around menopause.
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Sinead has over 20 years of experience as a motivational speaker and trainer and has focused the last 10 years on supporting women in business and sport. She has empowered over 10, 000 women to elevate their career impact and her menopause journey coupled with extensive professional expertise fuels her passion for helping women succeed and fostering supportive workplace cultures.
In this blog post, we’re covering the following:
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1) The Importance of Identifying What You Want
Sinead grew up often thinking that there weren't any barriers because her dad used to say that as long as you get your foot in the door, you can make the rest up from there.
“I took on that belief wholeheartedly, and I love that belief, but there is a big problem there that the opportunity has to be there, to exist, to be open to you.” - Sinead Sharkey-Steenson
As a white man, Sinead’s father got a lot more opportunities than any woman and certainly any woman of color or minority so Sinead emphasizes that we have to challenge that thinking.
Growing up, Sinead was pushed by her dad.
“Sadly, when I was 15, he died very suddenly. And that was like my driver behind me gone, and it made me start to think about, well, actually, what do I want?”- Sinead Sharkey-Steenson
She shares that she had just been following the path that was set for her until that stage.
“It's always the times I stopped and thought for myself and really examined what do I care about. What do I want? What's the impact that I want to make? Then I made really good choices.” - Sinead Sharkey-Steenson
Sinead went and studied psychology and was interested in the possibility of excellence, performance, and using your brain to achieve the things that you want.
However, this was not a big focus in the 90s so Sinead went into corporate life where she worked in HR as well as tech.
“Even though I came top in my master's, I still ran this narrative that I don't know what I'm doing. And so it took me a few years of being miserable, feeling like I had no confidence, no direction to actually step back and go, okay, what do I really care about? What am I good at? What can I do with myself?” - Sinead Sharkey-Steenson
Sinead realized that nobody was going to fix her situation for her, she had to fix it herself.
“I explored my strengths, my passions, my power. And I went in that direction and carved a new career for myself.” - Sinead Sharkey-Steenson
Sinead is sharing something that so many women on the podcast have said - they start doing something for reasons that are outside of themselves.
And even though she was achieving success, she was miserable inside. It was only through aligning with what she really wanted that she finally got comfortable in her own skin.
“When you get in alignment with your passion, the money comes, but so does the mental and physical health and freedom that follows.” - Oliva Cream
2) Step Into Your Power
After having her second daughter, Sinead reevaluated her life. She didn’t see climbing the corporate ladder as her strength.
She saw her strength in transformation.
“I've worked in transformation for 15 years in company culture transformation and leadership development. I just love transforming how people feel about their work experience, how they feel about themselves, and how they tap into their inner power.” - Sinead Sharkey-Steenson
Through politics, Sinead met her now business partner Lisa Strutt.
“We put together a program. [...] It just blew people away. It absolutely transformed how they saw their careers, how they saw themselves, how they saw their potential for impact and the stories that came out of it were phenomenal.” - Sinead Sharkey-Steenson
It was through this that her two businesses, Generation Women and Reboot, grew.
“When a woman's strengths and capabilities and her sense of self align with her ability to project and deliver, she becomes unstoppable.”- Sinead Sharkey-Steenson
Sinead explains that being a part of this transformation for so many women is what gets her out of bed in the morning.
We use this phrase on the podcast all the time - reclaim your power.
“As women, we are powerful beyond measure. [...] Anything that you imagine, you can bring that to life and walk in your power. It's absolutely doable.” - Oliva Cream
Sinead explains that we have been taught to lie about who we are.
“It's about suddenly being truthful. You read out my bio at the beginning and it is a wee bit cringe to hear all of that in one go, but it's the truth. It's all my reality. And it's the same when you work with a woman.” - Sinead Sharkey-Steenson
When questioned why she said it’s cringe to hear her accolades said out loud, Sinead explains that it is good to challenge her on that point and that she would challenge the women she works with about it as well.
“It's just not a normal thing to happen in Northern Ireland. And so that's the culture I live in where we don't do that.” - Sinead Sharkey-Steenson
This is an important point about unlearning.
In many cultures, it is taboo to talk so openly about your accomplishments.
“To embrace your gifts and really straighten your crown and walk into a room like you own it, society tells you it should be cringe. But the reality is more of us need to do this. [...] We need to learn to embrace our superpowers.” - Sinead Sharkey-Steenson
There are so many men with mediocre accomplishments thinking that they are amazing.
“Women do phenomenal things every single day and think that's just business as usual. That is the problem.” - Archita Fritz
3) Embrace Your Brilliance
Sinead shared that for most women, breaking barriers is not about changing what you do, it’s about shining a light on what you already do.
“I see women underestimate what they do every single day. So I encourage every woman to step back and notice the things that you find really easy. What are the things that people always come and ask you about? I'd start to recognize that those things are easy because you are bloody brilliant at them.” - Sinead Sharkey-Steenson
Sinead explains that these are your strengths and you are taking them for granted. And if you don’t recognize their value, no one else will either.
“Shine a light on it and show it up as the absolute brilliant strength that you have. Then people will value it and then you get the recognition you deserve. Because if everybody else could be doing it, they would be. But they're not. This is yours, own it, make the most of it, and don't take it for granted.” - Sinead Sharkey-Steenson
Sinead explains that you need to slow things down, look at all the moving parts, and really take into account all that you do.
She shares a story about one of her clients that was a top performer on her leadership team yet she never got any recognition.
“She was never taking up her space. She was never shining a light on anything she did.” - Sinead Sharkey-Steenson
She wasn’t speaking up at meetings because she never had any problems to share. But she also wasn’t sharing her results.
“That's what you have to be talking about. Take your space. Use your time. And you will stand out because everybody else is moaning and you are the one getting things done.” - Sinead Sharkey-Steenson
It turned out that she was the lowest paid. She renegotiated and got her pay and bonus backdated for five years.
“We, as women, believe it should be hard because everything in our environment is telling you it should be hard. So the fundamental reason why we don't highlight the things that come easy for us is because through social programming, we have been told, you're a woman, your life is supposed to be hard.” - Olivia Cream
We need to reframe this reality - just because something comes easy to us does not mean it is worthless.
“Start to chase the things that feel easy because that path leads you to glory instead of this uphill battle that we keep picking in our day-to-day life because we've been told this is how it's supposed to be.” - Olivia Cream
Sinead explains that when you work from a place of ease, that's where your greatest confidence is. So many women struggle with confidence because they are not flowing with their strengths.
“Stop being a dandelion, be an orchid instead. Because a dandelion will survive wherever, no matter. Whereas why shouldn't we create this luxurious, I only work if I'm in this very fine-tuned, well-looked-after environment.” - Sinead Sharkey-Steenson
Many women struggle to identify what their strengths even are. If this is you, take the time to really think about what your strengths are.
To make it easier, jot down when you are feeling your best and most in the zone, you will start to notice a pattern.
You can also ask other people what they think your strengths are. You will be surprised that things that you thought were normal, people see as strengths.
“When you go ask people about your superpowers, [...] resist the urge to argue with them. [...] This is the time to take your flowers and not argue.” - Olivia Cream
Sinead explains that if you argue, you've basically asked somebody for a gift and then you've taken it and smashed it and thrown it back in their face.
4) Perimenopause, Menopause, and Postmenopause
Sinead explains that there are a lot of myths around menopause that are wrapped up in ageism and sexism.
“You can actually go into perimenopause at any moment post-puberty. [...] So if you think women in the 40s and 50s have a struggle, imagine that happening to you at 19 and you're not being believed by the medical profession, not being believed by your employer.” - Sinead Sharkey-Steenson
Sinead explains that women can also go into medical menopause at any time due to conditions like endometriosis.
“We have to, I think, broaden our understanding of perimenopause.” - Sinead Sharkey-Steenson
Another fact that Sinead shared is that menopause is actually only one day.
“Menopause is the one year anniversary of stopping bleeding. [...] Then perimenopause is the run-up to that. So perimenopause is all the hormonal changes or fluctuations that can happen. And then postmenopause is all the things that happen after that.” - Sinead Sharkey-Steenson
Until recently, most people didn’t even know perimenopause existed.
Sinead worked with a menopause expert who noticed around 10 years ago that a lot of women were suddenly crumbling at around 40 and unable to manage stress. This turned out to be perimenopause.
“We notice it at work first. It's anxiety, it's memory loss, it's brain fog, it's low energy, and these things creep up.” - Sinead Sharkey-Steenson
This often occurs when women are in their late 30s or early 40s which is a high-pressure time for women anyway.
Sinead explains that may have children, a high-pressure job, more senior roles at work, aging parents, or friends who are getting sick - all of these things feel like an explanation for why you may not feel as good as you usually do.
“We never knew to look at this because it's only when your periods really stop that most women realize I'm in menopause.” - Sinead Sharkey-Steenson
5) Changing the Narrative Around Menopause
Archita shared a story in which she tagged one of her friends in a perimenopause post on LinkedIn. This friend messaged her privately and asked her to remove the tag because she didn’t want to talk about perimenopause in the workplace.
“Therein lies the problem. If we don't make this something we can talk about, how are we going to keep and retain this amazing talent and take care of this talent?” - Archita Fritz
Sinead explains that menopause has managed to live in the shadows until now. It has been stigmatized. It has been the butt of jokes.
She urges us to reclaim the language used for women of this age. Words like crone and hag.
“That was all actually revered analogy for wise women that has been turned against us.” - Sinead Sharkey-Steenson
However, while this can be a challenging time, a lot of amazing things happen during this time as well.
1. Women become so much more purpose-driven at this time of life.
“So often women have spent a lifetime putting everybody else first and you no longer have the patience or any of that stuff to do it. And finally, women reclaim themselves and their lives.” - Sinead Sharkey-Steenson
Sinead explains that this is a time when women decide what really matters to them and they go after it.
2. It’s a time of connection.
“We've given so much to everybody else that we crave our own connection, our own community. And I see it's a time where women really build community around themselves for support, not for the other people in their lives, but for themselves.” - Sinead Sharkey-Steenson
Sinead shares that it is a time to nurture friendships and explore different communities.
3. It’s a time for adventure.
Around this time women realize that they are not on this planet forever.
“So go and make the most of it and start doing all that stuff you've been putting off. Get out there and do it now. I've been swimming in waterfalls. I've been doing stand-up comedy. I've been doing, you name it, walking on fire, taking singing lessons. Just go for it.” - Sinead Sharkey-Steenson
If you enjoyed this conversation, here are a few more episodes you might like:
Episode 78: Finding Alignment, Understanding Priorities & Taking Control of Your Goals
Episode 73: Owning Your Authenticity and Making Fearless Decisions
Episode 65: Leveraging Your Uniqueness For Success
To hear the full conversation, scroll all the way up and tune into episode 79.
About The Hosts: Archita And Olivia
ARCHITA
Archita Sivakumar Fritz is the Host and Producer of the Embracing Only Podcast. Archita is a MedTech and Life Science Strategist. She is a LinkedIn Top Voice for her insights into product strategy and nonprofit management, and the creation of inclusive cultures that champion a 'speak up' philosophy.
Following a successful 19+ year corporate career she now helps C Suite across organizations as a Fractional Product Marketing Leader through her company Ready Set Bold.
She works with individuals with 10+ years of corporate experience to find new paths away from toxic or underappreciative environments, enabling both personal fulfillment and broader organizational impact.
→ Grab your FREE resource to build your career transition here: https://embracingonly.com/cubicle-escape-blueprint
→ If you want to work with Archita you can reach out to her here: www.readysetb.
→ Book her as a speaker, moderator, or coach for your next company event or workshop.
OLIVIA
Olivia Grant Cream is the host and producer of the Embracing Only podcast. Nothing makes her happier than providing a platform to women who are changing the world.
Olivia is a proud US Veteran and HR Leader who is passionate about changing the face of corporate America by helping underrepresented people reclaim their power and live the life of their dreams.
She is an advocate for transitioning military members seeking second careers in the corporate landscape.
Olivia is a proud Jamaican and enjoys mentoring, coaching, classic cars, and nature. The way you tell your story online can make all the difference.
→ You can work with Olivia here: www.oliviacre
→ Book her as a keynote speaker or moderator for your next ERG or company event.