Microaggressions, Emotional Labor, and How Women of Color Keep Showing Up
What happens when your very existence is seen as suspicious?
For women of color, fear isn’t a luxury. It’s a consequence. It’s not just emotional, it’s systemic, cultural, historical, and often, ignored.
In episode 90 of Embracing “Only”, we share a raw and emotionally intelligent conversation about the fear that women of color carry in their bodies, especially when the world refuses to legitimize it.
Listen to the episode or scroll down to read the blog post ↓
In this blog post, we’re covering the following:
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1) The Casual Violence of Everyday Spaces
Recently, Archita’s peaceful morning walk turned into an interrogation from a plainclothes security agent posted outside a Jewish daycare in Germany.
Despite living in the neighborhood for 13 years, Archita was stopped and questioned about what she was doing, why she was walking, and whether she belonged. The encounter left her shaken and angry.
The deep frustration came not just from the profiling itself, but the reflexive second-guessing that followed.
“What did I do wrong?”
“Was I dressed okay?”
These are the spirals women of color know too well.
2) The Emotional Toll of Living on High Alert
As women of color or the “only”, we carry a toll in our bodies from living life on high alert, and often we don’t even realize it until we’re out of danger.
Since moving to Jamaica, Olivia has felt a profound shift in her nervous system. No more wondering if she’ll be harassed at the grocery store. No more armor when walking down the street.
“ I didn't even realize how on edge I was just about leaving the house and going about my normal business because I'm just so prepared to have something shitty happen to me.” - Olivia Cream
This isn't just anecdotal. It's a pattern. It's a condition. And it’s exhausting.
3) Teaching Our Children to See - and Not Fear - Difference
Archita shares a moment with her five-year-old daughter, who, after watching a gymnastics movie featuring a dark-skinned girl facing racism, said she was glad not to have dark skin. A five-year-old, already afraid of the implications of race.
“ We pass this fear on unknowingly or knowingly to our kids. [...] They assume certain things [...] because they see that a certain kind of people are not treated well.” - Archita Fritz
We need to actively teach kids to hold space for differences without instinctively labeling them as dangerous.
“ Help your kids recognize things can be different, and you don't have to be fearful of it.” - Archita Fritz
4) Bias in the Boardroom
The racism and bias that happens on the sidewalk also happens in the boardroom.
Microaggressions don’t stop at the office door. They evolve into missed promotions, coded language in performance reviews, or unspoken expectations that leaders of color must work harder to be seen as competent.
“ If you want to be a good person, you need to address this bias because these things are allowed to exist in our society because good people choose to mind their business and to stay out of it when the reality is these messy people, these frankly, unworthy human beings, they never mind their own business.” - Olivia Cream
Allyship isn’t passive agreement. It’s action.
It’s interrupting bias before it becomes exclusion.
It’s listening when someone says they were harmed.
It’s believing them even if it’s uncomfortable. Especially if it’s uncomfortable.
“ All the good people out there, you have to say something. You have to engage. Otherwise, this stuff will continue to exist.” - Olivia Cream
Whether you're an HR leader or a peer in the room, your silence maintains the system. Your voice could change it.
5) Owning Your Fear
Fear can be a teacher if you're willing to sit with it. But too often, people project their fear onto others instead of owning it.
“The only person responsible for your fear is yourself. [...] Sit with your fear and figure out why it is that you're afraid.” - Olivia Cream
Fear unchecked becomes defensiveness. It becomes blame. It becomes silence when courage is needed most.
If you find yourself feeling threatened in a conversation about race, identity, or harm, pause before you react. Ask yourself: What part of me feels unsafe right now? And is this fear truly about the person in front of me, or is it about something I haven’t dealt with in myself?
Fear isn’t inherently bad.
It’s information.
But without ownership, it becomes a weapon used to silence, other, or deflect.
“None of us, no matter what amount of reading, what amount of engaging we do, is immune from leading with our bias.” - Archita Fritz
For women of color, surviving bias while leading teams and raising families is a full-time emotional job.
“ I am not your Google. I'm not going to shout historical facts to you. It's not my job to educate you. [...] I am done trying to convince people that these experiences are real.” - Olivia Cream
If you take away one thing from this episode, let it be this:
We don't need more awareness. We need action. We need brave spaces. We need leaders who will do more than post statements. We need them to stand up, speak up, and check in.
“ The world needs good leaders now more than ever, good leaders from every space.” - Olivia Cream
Start by asking: Who’s allowed to be afraid?
Then make sure your answer isn’t shaped by bias.
If you enjoyed this conversation, here are a few more episodes you might like:
Episode 87: Redefining Productivity and Thriving Amidst Struggle with Grace Marshall
Episode 86: Navigating Bias and Embracing Identity in Corporate Spaces with Dr. Delia Grenville
Episode 71: Speaking Up in the Workplace with Animah Kosai
To hear the full conversation, scroll all the way up and tune into episode 90.
About The Hosts: Archita And Olivia
ARCHITA
Archita Sivakumar Fritz is the Host and Producer of the Embracing Only Podcast. Archita is a MedTech and Life Science Strategist. She is a LinkedIn Top Voice for her insights into product strategy and nonprofit management, and the creation of inclusive cultures that champion a 'speak up' philosophy.
Following a successful 19+ year corporate career she now helps C Suite across organizations as a Fractional Product Marketing Leader through her company Ready Set Bold.
She works with individuals with 10+ years of corporate experience to find new paths away from toxic or underappreciative environments, enabling both personal fulfillment and broader organizational impact.
→ Grab your FREE resource to build your career transition here: https://embracingonly.com/cubicle-escape-blueprint
→ If you want to work with Archita you can reach out to her here: www.architafritz.com
→ Book her as a speaker, moderator, or coach for your next company event or workshop.
OLIVIA
Olivia Grant Cream is the host and producer of the Embracing Only podcast. Nothing makes her happier than providing a platform to women who are changing the world.
Olivia is a proud US Veteran and HR Leader who is passionate about changing the face of corporate America by helping underrepresented people reclaim their power and live the life of their dreams.
She is an advocate for transitioning military members seeking second careers in the corporate landscape.
Olivia is a proud Jamaican and enjoys mentoring, coaching, classic cars, and nature. The way you tell your story online can make all the difference.
→ You can work with Olivia here: www.oliviacre
→ Book her as a keynote speaker or moderator for your next ERG or company event.